Hype or hope?

I'm glad John commented on my last post and asked what I thought of the Bishop of London's sermon, as it made me return to listen to it carefully. I was especially pleased as I had missed the significance of its ending when we watched the service en famille yesterday. I reckon that was the high point of the day. Of course it's hard to tell what's going on behind the inscrutable façades of polite society, but it seemed to me that the couple were genuinely happy. As far as I could tell, they're nice people. I positively enjoyed seeing them drive to Clarence House in his dad's vintage, environmentally friendly Aston Martin. Altogether it was a good show.

from Telegraph website

There were one or two off notes surrounding the event, such as the failure to invite our last two prime ministers to what was in part a state event (Downing Street's asseveration that invitations were purely the affair of the Palace was disingenuous, after David Cameron's vehement opposition to Gordon Brown becoming the next head of the IMF and then in the light William Hague intervening to get the Syrian ambassador's wedding invitation withdrawn. It was simply inconceivable that there'd been no liaison about invitations between No 10 and Buckingham  Palace.), and historian, Andrew Roberts' spin, on the wedding morning's Today programme, that 550 street parties was an overwhelming indication of popular support. (How many streets are there in the UK? One answer I found is 250,000....). But I'm not carping. At heart, it was a happy day for two families and one couple.

But back to the question. I thought Bishop Chartres' sermon was excellent. Short - 8 minutes. Not parsonical - let the reader understand, and beware! Full of content. Straightforward and practical. I liked the fact that it was addressed to the couple almost entirely, but its message was for anyone. "In a sense, every wedding is a royal wedding, with the bride and groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together...." The strapline from Catherine of Siena, "Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire," is a great truth and the theme of helping your partner to fulfil their potential of course ran through the sermon. "In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life." "The more we give of self, the richer we become in soul" - the sermon was jam-packed with quotable quotes, or, rather, pithy nuggets to chew on. Marriage is a reflection of God's generous love to the world - the Bishop gave a beautiful one-sentence summary of the Christian good news.

On the importance of the marriage ceremony, he profoundly pointed out the significance of the decision, the public "I will": "It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. People can dream of such a thing but that hope should not be fulfilled without a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love." That would be part of my answer to 'Brotherly Love's' comment on my last post. Although in practice I too became 'flexible' with regard to couples' pre-marital sex, in principle true love needs first to make that public covenant commitment, which turns the hopeful dream into practical reality. Until then it remains a conditional love - which is love minus. That remains the best way.

from Westminster Abbey website

I could go on about the sermon but it's easily available to read and to watch at www.london.anglican.org/Sermon. I loved the idea of our being "each other's work of art", and his sentences about the future were acute. But, as I said, the high point (as it should be) was the end, the prayer which William and Catherine had composed themselves - What a good idea, by the way, to invite a couple to express their feelings to God on their wedding day! I wish I'd thought of that! - "God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage. In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy. Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen." I've no idea how it came to be written, but I like to take it at face value, that it is signed "William and Kate" and represents the heart of their marriage aspirations. Not bad - for a future king and queen - or for any of us!


And I almost forgot this postscript to the day from YouTube, Westminster Abbey verger celebrates a good day at the office. It reminds me the way children would skip back from the communion rail in Hazel Grove - "How appropriate!" I used to think.

Their big day

At the moment I'm reading (in translation) some of the most sublime love poetry ever written. It's mostly known as Song of Songs and attributed to King Solomon (10th century BC). Passion is the word!  

"As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,

   so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
   and his fruit was sweet to my taste.

He brought me to the banqueting house,
   and his banner over me was love. 

Sustain me with raisins;
   refresh me with apples,
    for I am sick with love.

His left hand is under my head,
   and his right hand embraces me!

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
   by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
   until it pleases.

The voice of my beloved!

   Behold, he comes,
leaping  over the mountains,
   bounding over the hills.
My beloved is like  a gazelle
   or a young stag.
Behold, there he stands
   behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
   looking through the lattice.
My beloved speaks and says to me:  

'Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
   and come away,
for behold, the winter is past;
     the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth,
   the time of singing  has come,
and the voice of  the turtledove
   is heard in our land.
The fig tree ripens its figs,
   and  the vines are in blossom;
   they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my beautiful one,
   and come away.

O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
   in the crannies of the cliff,
let me see your face,
   let me  hear your voice,
for your voice is sweet,
   and your face is  lovely.

Catch the foxes for us,
   the little foxes
that spoil the vineyards,
     for our vineyards are in blossom.'

 My beloved is mine, and I am his;
   he grazes among the lilies.

Until the day breathes
   and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved, be like a gazelle
   or a young stag on cleft mountains." 

And that of course is just a part of the great poem. The comment I read about it today said this:
"Many commentators suggest that the lovers in the Song are betrothed. Betrothal was a more formal, binding arrangement than engagement today. Nevertheless, full physical consummation of a relationship would not happen until after the marriage ceremony" (Penny Boshoff in Closer to God). That's the force of the lover's adjuration to her friends not to stir up love prematurely.  

It's a pity that ours is a society where that's now the exception, as I found in preparing couples for marriage. Usually the reason given was "We've been committed to each other, but haven't been able to afford the wedding until now," or occasionally "It's good to know that you're really compatible before tying the knot - don't you think, vicar?" Well, to be honest, I don't. I don't think "living together" is the best preparation for marriage. I think it's a shame. There are many other ways of testing your mutual compatibility. And I don't think that was the way that God intended. The gift of the whole "you" is the ultimate wedding present to each other.

Now I regret I didn't have the courage to say just that to more people, rather than my usual anodyne acceptance that it was simply too late and "least said...." Certainly I thought being married was better than "living together", and so I would bless their unions happily.

William Windsor and Catherine Middleton are very much children of their time and culture, which habitually awakens sleeping Eros prematurely. And so I wish them joy tomorrow, and hope they'll be role models for long and happy marriage - unlike Solomon.

A subject I thought I'd not mention!

Last week was busy, but got increasingly pleasurable. You can perhaps deduce the tipping point.
Monday - car had its MOT. Needs new tyre.
Wednesday - visit to doctor. Blood pressure needs "keeping an eye on". Kwikfit came and fitted two new tyres. Dog goes to vet with back/neck trouble.
Thursday - blood test, followed by dentist. Tooth refilled. Need to watch plaque upper left. My teeth are a catalogue of decay!
Friday - wheelchair serviced first thing. Afternoon visited my best man in Oxford, a brave man. Evening had three friends round for meal and to pray.
Saturday - Jane out morning, brother and wife call in for coffee. Out for meal in evening with two of the BEST friends.
And I forgot to mention three other visits from friends interspersed through the week.
Life's not dull.

Meanwhile the news broke on Wednesday, or was it Thursday, that William Windsor had proposed some time ago to Catherine Middleton. At last, you might think, after nine years of friendship and four years of 'living together'. The arcane reason given for its being announced now was, I heard, that otherwise she couldn't have spent Christmas at Sandringham with the royal family. The protocol that approves of cohabitation before marriage but not of entertaining your girl-friend at your parents' home seems to me a trifle bizarre, if not topsy-turvy.

However I must beware of sounding like the Bishop of Willesden, who's incurred the establishment's wrath with his republican remarks expressed in lively Facebook language. Pete Broadbent obviously wasn't brought up with the principle my mother taught us about making remarks. "Before you speak, ask: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If it doesn't pass all three tests, don't say it." I guess the bishop's remarks fail on 2 out of 3 counts. That is a huge temptation with blogging and social networking - to be funny and trenchant without asking those questions or exercising personal imagination. That leads to vitriolic extremes, which are downright ugly.

Personally, I wish them a long and happy marriage. I don't envy royalty in any way. Their lot is not an easy one, mainly because of the obsessional interest which we appear to have in them and which the media profitably feeds. There's an excellent marriage preparation course which I hope the celebrant of their wedding will insist William and Kate do together.

 http://relationshipcentral.org/marriage-preparation-course. We used to use it with prospective couples in our church. Very good it was too. Hopefully the bishop's ill-judged remarks won't have put them off.